If I only had a brain....
*
I could while away the hours,
conferrin' with the flowers,
Consultin' with the rain.
And my head I'd be scratchin'
while my thoughts were busy hatchin'
If I only had a brain.
I'd unravel every riddle
for any individ'le,
In trouble or in pain.
With the thoughts you'll be thinkin'
you could be another Lincoln,
If you only had a brain.
Oh, I could tell you why
The ocean's near the shore.
I could think of things
I never  thunk before.
And then I'd sit, and think some more.
I would not be just a nothin',
my head all full of stuffin',
My heart all full of pain.
I would dance and be merry,
life would be a ding-a-derry,
If I only had a brain.
 

If I only had a heart....
**
When a man's an empty kettle
he should be on his mettle,
And yet I'm torn apart.
Just because I'm presumin'
that I could be kind-a-human,
If I only had heart.
I'd be tender -- I'd be gentle
and awful sentimental
Regarding love and art.
I'd be friends with the sparrows
and the boy who shoots the arrows
If I only had a heart.
Picture me - a balcony.
Above a voice sings low:
"Wherefore art thou, Romeo?"
I hear a beat.... How sweet.
Just to register emotion, jealousy...devotion,
And really feel the part.
I could stay young and chipper
and I'd  lock it with a zipper,
If I only had a heart.

If I only had the nerve...
***
Yeah, it's sad,
believe me, Missy.
When you're born to be a sissy,
Without the vim and verve.
But I could show my prowess,
be a lion not a mou-ess.
If I only had  the nerve.
I'm afraid there's no denyin',
I'm just a dandelion.
A fate I don't deserve.
I'd be brave as a blizzard...
I'd be gentle as a lizard...
I'd be clever as a gizzard...
If the Wizard is a Wizard
who will serve.

If I were KING of the forest....
****
If I were King of the Forest,
Not queen, not duke, not prince.
My regal robes of the forest
would be satin, not cotton, not chintz.
I'd command each thing,
be it fish or fowl.
With a woof and a woof
and a royal growl -- WOOF.
As I'd click my heel,
all the trees would kneel.
And the  mountains bow
and the bulls kowtow.
And the sparrow would  take wing
If I -- If I -- were King!
Each rabbit would show respect to me.
The chipmunks genuflect to me.
Though my tail would lash,
I would show compash
For every underling!
If I -- If I - were King!
Just King!