In the early eighteenth century "there was a common pattern of behavior in matters of deportment" (14). It demanded that those of members of upper-class society show their manners through:
Dancing masters were responsible for teaching this type of deportment, as well as fan-and-hat etiquette for women and men, respectively (15). For example, the dancing master would instruct his female pupils to hold their fans in six specific poses; gentlemen were taught that their hats should be placed under their arm, while their hand should properly be slipped inside their unbuttoned waistcoat. Both sexes would use this type of instruction to guide their deportment at social gatherings.
Good Breeding is mostly concerned with outward deportment.
Good Manners refer to ones moral behavior. (223)
These two elements, good breeding and good manners, were considered the primary elements of a woman's education. It was thought that her mind should not be concerned with matters of the learned, as "the true art of education was to make the Mind and Body improve together... to make Gesture follow Thought , and not let Thought be employed upon Gesture," (223). Principles of morality and behavior, separate from the likes of proper posture and gesturing, were learned in the home and generally from ones parents. Elements of religiosity were mixed into these lessons (18).
As the century passed concerns over posturing and strict etiquitte were eclipsed by those rules which governed relationships between the genteel. The level of familairity exhibited between people was an issue. If one behaved with too much familarity towards someone newly introduced into his social circle, it was improper conduct. Along these lines, the depth of a curtsey or bow was specific or wrong. Reverences were expected to be done with the proper amount of formality, neither over or underdone. Bows and curtseys were not to seem a simple movement, but rather as an expression of emotion, and the level of formality necessary was determined by how familiar one was with the recipient of the reverence (15).
In this period, gentlemanliness and lady-like behavior were emphasized over mere gestures and positioning. Rules regarding balls and other social gatherings were then becoming part of the established etiquette, and became less prominent in conduct manuals and other such books of mannerly instruction. Society was now of the opinion that manners should not be based on class and rank, but that they should be implemented as a means of showing regard for fellow members of society (19).
In addition to this change, Lord Chesterfield's second book of conduct, The New Chesterfield (1830), serves as an update to his earlier advice. To women he says,
Let me now recommend to you that dignity of manner, which next to modesty, is the highest ornament of the female character. It gives a distinguishing luster to every look, every motion, every sentence you utter; in short it gives that charm and beauty, without which it generally fails to please. By dignity of manner I would not be understood to mean pride, or the least tincture of haughtiness, but a care not to let yourself down in opinion of the rational part of your acquaintance. You certainly may possess dignity without pride, affability without meanness, and elegance without affectation. (39)
Here the emphasis on dignity and away from gestures and other such ornamental behavior shows a change. Along with this, it seems that instruction books became more focused on women's behavior. Some of these books even empowered women who cultivated proper deportment and within themselves, saying,
The virtues of a woman of rank and fortune, extend... far beyond the mansion where she presided, or the cottage she protects, by the example she offers... Those who are not placed by providence in so brilliant a sphere, may by their conduct, produce the same effects, in a more limited circle and in a less degree. (39)
This advice promotes the idea that the necessity of manners is no longer confined to the tight circles of the elite. All members of society, if well-behaved, can improve upon the way they are perceived. As in Jane Austen's Persuasion, the emphasis on titles and rank enforced by the country gentry may be losing power to dignified behavior and humility.
This de-emphasis of manners was the product of another occurrence in society. (As it had become easier for all members of society to be counted among the well-mannered, a matter of reading the proper literature, instead of having the "right" dancing instructor, the middle class could affect the same manners that the gentry class had been perfecting for centuries. This was distressing, as manners could no longer make the upper class distinguishable. In the world of fashion the new norm became: "Good breeding shows itself most where... it appears the least" (209). Now, a person who showed herself to be too polite, seemed middle or lower class. This would give off an impression that the woman was in a position of servitude, instead of being well-bred.
This fear that members of upper-class society felt, originates in the fact that
each Class and each circle begins by erecting an ideal, then, as history brings this ideal into collision with the ideal's of others there takes place an amalgamation or absorption of one by the other. (40)
To further prevent the middle class from being absorbed by the upper class,the standards changed. The middle class, with their newly perfected manners, continued to behave noticeably different. By 1860 " the practical emphasis on detail without theory in the education of manners, deriving from the late seventeenth century, reached it's logically empty conclusions" (56). The gestures and erect posture were handed down without reason for many years; as the middle class learned to affect these meaningless motions, they could move upward in social circles. The relaxed rules of decorum became a clear way to redraw the lines of society.
"Cutting" was another way to reestablish the classism that the gentry so long attempted to preserve. It was basically a means of rejecting a family for being too mannerly, or for being "openly" middle class. Cutting would take place publicly, and would effectively ostracize a family from society. They would no longer be associated with, as such low associations would lead to further cutting.
There were certain rules for cutting:
It seems, with these rules, that women were given some deference in society.
Visit my other page on middle-class
virtue.
Things were changing in the area of women's expected roles. "No longer were women expected to act the part of brainless playthings, forever chasing the whims of the moment." Women were instead taught duty, and the value of doing good (243). More simple and natural manners were also expected. Women even began to get involved in more physical activity. But it was still important that they not look belabored in their exertions (245).
Despite these subtle changes it was still expected that a fashionable woman, when walking, would only take short strides, no longer than a foot; when sitting she should slink into her chair: she should sit neither slouching nor posturing herself too erectly, and she should never show or cross her feet (247).
The small progress made produced the beginnings of the woman's domestic role. As she learned duties, she also acquired specific female tasks in society. Calling was starting to be considered a woman's obligation. Too many men had started working (255). Certainly their role was also extended to teacher her children good behavior and manners.
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