SAPON-SHAVIN’S BOOK: CHAPTER 5
SETTING GOALS AND GIVING AND GETTING SUPPORT
THE VISION:
ALL PEOPLE NEED AND DESERVE HELP- EVEN PEOPLE WHO ARE CONSIDERED "INTELLIGENT," "COMPETENT," AND "MATURE."
PEOPLE SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO SPECIFY THE KINDS OF HELP THEY NEED AND WANT AND WHEN THEY WANT IT.
BOTH GIVING AND GETTING HELP ARE POSITIVE ACTIONS AND CAN HELP BRING PEOPLE CLOSER TOGETHER.
THERE IS NO STIGMA OR SHAME ASSOCIATED WITH NEEDING OTHER PEOPLE’S HELP, SUPPORT, ENCOURAGEMENT, OR APPRECIATION.
CHALLENGES TO THE VISION:
BARRIERS TO SHARED GOAL SETTING
GOAL SETTING TENDS TO BE A PRIVATE ACT, AND MANY PEOPLE ARE HESITANT TO SHARE THEIR GOALS WITH OTHER PEOPLE FOR SEVERAL REASONS:
- THEY DON’T WANT OTHER PEOPLE’S ADVICE OR INTRUSION INTO WHAT THEY PERCEIVE AS PERSONAL
- THEY DON’T WANT REPROACH OR HUMILIATION IF THEY PERCEIVE THAT THEY ARE "FAILING" AT THEIR GOALS
- THEY BECOME COMPETITIVE OR EMBARRASED ABOUT THE NATURE OR CALIBER OF THEIR GOAL ("I’M ONLY TRYING TO LEARN TO PRINT")
BARRIERS TO GETTING AND GIVING HELP
- CULTURAL NORMS OF COMPETITION
- IF BEING OF VALUE IS CLOSELY LINKEDTO "BEING THE BEST" OR THE "FASTEST," THEN HELPING MAY BE DYSFUNCTIONAL TO YOUR OWN PERSONAL GOAL
- SELF ESTEEM AND SELF-WORTH
- IF YOUR SELF ESTEEM AND WORTH HINGES ON A NOTION OF INDIVIDUAL COMPETENCE, THEN BY ASKING FOR HELP, YOU MAY BE MAKING PUBLIC THAT YOU ARE WEAK, LIMITED, OR NEEDY IN SOME WAY
IS THIS WORKING?
DO STUDENTS SET REALISTIC AND REASONABLE GOALS FOR THEMSELVES?
DO STUDENTS THINK CRITICALLY ABOUT WHAT GOALS WOULD MAKE SENSE FOR THEMSELVES?
DO STUDENTS RECOGNIZE THAT DIFFERENT PEOPLE IN THE CLASS WILL (AND SHOULD) HAVE DIFFERENT GOALS?
ARE STUDENTS ABLE TO ARTICULATE THEIR OWN GOALS CLEARLY?
ARE STUDENTS ABLE TO EXPLAIN OTHER STUDENTS’ GOALS CLEARLY?
ARE STUDENTS SUPPORTIVE OR ONE ANOTHER’S GOALS? DO THEY OFFER CONCRETE AND RESPONSIVE HELP TO THEIR CLASSMATES?
DO STUDENTS FREELY ASK FOR HELP WHEN THEY ARE STRUGGLING?
DO STUDENTS ASK FOR HELP APPROPRIATELY, RATHER THAN WHINING OR COMPLAINING?
ARE STUDENTS ALERT TO OTHERS WHO REQUIRE ASSISTANCE?
DO STUDENTS OFFER ASISTANCE RESPECTFULLY TO CLASSMATES?
DO STUDENTS ACCEPT HELP FROM OTHERS GRACIOUSLY?
DO STUDENTS REJECT UNWANTED OFFERS OF HELP POLITELY?
DO STUDENTS HAVE WELL-DEVELOPED REPERTOIRES FOR PROVIDING SUPPORT AND ASSISTANCE TO CLASSMATES WHO ARE QUITE DIFFERENT FROM THEMSELVES (I.E., THOSE WITH PHYSICAL AND EDUCATIONAL CHALLENGES, THOSE WHO SPEAK ANOTHER LANGUAGE, ETC.)?